Friday, May 31, 2013

Bits and Pieces

'The worst things in life come free to us'
Standing here as a million rain drops fall upon me. Maybe it'll all just fall away with the rain. Maybe all the mistakes, troubles, lies, doubts and insecurities will wash away.
Why do I feel such bliss amongst all the misery?

The smallest things have always made me happy...
As the tears tumble down my face, I wonder. Think, think, think.  I stand here for hours upon hours listening to music to distract myself; putting my life on hold. Before I know it, the music stops and I don't even notice, lost in my train of thought that never seems to end. No pit stops, no rest, no time to refuel; doesn't stop for anyone.

People call me dumb, they say I never think about anything. If only they knew. The problem is that I think too much. And at the end of everything, I think some more. I make rash decisions, say terrible things, hurt myself, hurt others. Why?

I'm momentarily brought back as I hear 'It's too cold outside for angels fly' whispered into my ears. It truly is too cold. Even for the wicked.
I put on a smile. I hide behind incessant babbling and a series of giggles that don't seem to stop; like an awful case of hiccups.

Maybe if I act like everything's ok, it will be. Just maybe...

It has stopped raining now. Time to put my mask back on. All smiles. :)


If you're wondering what all that was about:
I go up onto my terrace everyday and just walk around for hours, listening to music. I think about my life and about all the people around me, everything that affects me; my social environment (thank you Phys. Ed, I'm actually using you in real life). Anyway, on this particular day, it was raining and I was listening to Ed Sheeran's 'The A Team', I started tapping away on my Itouch. Before I knew it, I ended up with these bits and pieces from my 'train of thought'.

I'm really not such a depressing person but I freak from time to time. Okay, enough bullshit now! >_< BYE :)