Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Summers & Sales

I don't think I've ever spent a single summer of my measly existence actually doing something fun. (see how I didn't say productive?) I'm such a boring person. *sigh*
I went shopping yesterday! It was fun! But boring. For like the first time ever, I went shopping by myself. I was freaking out on the inside. Thankfully, everyone I met was extra special nice. But it was weird not having anyone with me. (This was partly due to the fact that two of my friends are idiots and don't know how to pick up the phone. You know who you are.) 

Anyway, I bought clothes and stuff. Yup. I'll post pictures in my photo blog sometime.  
Ooh. When I was at Mango, there was this crazy lady shopping and out of the blue she started yelling at the store clerk! I'm like, 'Whoa'. She was all like,'What kind of establishment are you running?! I'm a regular customer! You hear me! Regular customer! I shop here all the time! This dress was here the last time I came here and you still don't have the size I need! How many times do I need to tell you! Do I need to talk to the management?!'
And I'm just standing there thinking 'Someone forgot to take their craaazy pills!' I don't understand why she had to go full hulk on that poor woman. It's not as if she owns the freaking store.

7 Annoying things that shopping clerks say/do:

1. From the second you enter the store, they watch your every move like a hawk waiting for the kill. Sometimes, it's almost as if they want you to steal something so their day becomes interesting.

2. They follow you around the entire time asking you to buy some stupid piece of clothing that's overpriced, ugly, old and nobody wants to buy it. But the moment you actually need their help, it's like a freaking desert. They're nowhere in sight!

3. "Excuse me madame, you would like great in this dress"
    "Oh you mean that thing in your hand that even a hooker wouldn't wear. I see."

4. When I'm holding a size medium and ask you to get me a smaller size and I'm handed a large. 
'What the hell is wrong with you?! Does your brain even function?!'

5. "Can I help you find something?"
I mean seriously, how does your brain work? I have just entered the store. Can you at least give me a second to register where the hell I am?! Chill. 

6. That one clerk that remembers you from your previous shopping experiences and runs towards you at like 90 mph (OVER-EXAGGERATING MUCH!) to throw some stupid sales pitch at you.
 'We are having 40% discount on all guy products'.
'Last time I checked I was a girl. And even if you thought I was going to buy it for some guy; I'm single. So thank you stupid clerk for reminding me of that!'

7. 'These earrings go perfectly with that sweater you picked out before'= I don't actually give a shit about what you're buying, but I've almost reached my sales goal so I will try to make you buy these expensive pair of earrings that actually look terrible on you.

UPDATE: Oh my god. I was such a horrible person. I don't even think half of that stuff. What was I thinking?!
I love it when shopkeepers remember me from shopping previously. They're always so nice.
This ridiculous post was written when I was suffering from the way-over-my-head, blind-to-the-world syndrome.

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