Saturday, December 6, 2014


Once upon a time was a mad girl who wished she was slightly sane, to meet the society's standards of acceptable insanity. The sanity quiz told her exactly how insane she was, to three decimal places to be precise. It was a terrible one at that, some went insane just from taking it. What a horrid thing. When you are asked about yourself and you're at a loss words because the truth is, you don't know too much about yourself in the first place. So we lie and say we are sure about the fact that we're studying at this brilliant college, doing what we've always wanted to do and just a load of humbug with the excessive use of the pronoun 'we'.
But there's one thing we are most certain of of because this girl could tell you one thing in confidence and that she was exactly 93.43 percent insane. She'll boast that it's one percent less than last year and two less than the year before. There is one little detail she always chooses to leave out though. That she has never actually taken the insanity quiz. She always says the first number that comes to mind and hopes that people forget. Sadly, most people do. People don't care about the why in the way it matters but in the way it doesn't. They care about the number of zeroes written after a small number on a check but not the decimal places of one's insanity. She stood for what she believed in and fell for what was pushed onto her. The weight on her shoulders? She didn't even know it was there.
Every day, she'd wake up and come to terms with her made up number because she fears she might be worse off with the truth.
But one day they grabbed her and sat her down on the sidewalk. They flipped out their super sharp pencils and crisp white papers. They pushed the pencil into her hand and made her scribble her name at the very top and even the date to the left corner, like the teachers did. Not a second to be wasted, they said. So she scrutinized every question and filled out every answer. She darkened those little circles to absolute perfection to make any invigilator proud. Not a second to waste they said, as they grabbed the paper out of her hands and disappeared into the night. But what did the poor little girl do? Well, she dusted herself off and went home.
It wasn't too long before it arrived the mail. She opened it up and stared at the number printed at the center of the paper. The truth was much more than she hoped for. All those made up numbers could not do this one justice. She wept into her hand and the paper lay on the carpet. To two decimal places precisely. It told her she was zero point zero zero percent insane.
But why was she crying?
That's  because being sane is worse than being insane. You have no excuses to do all those ridiculous things.
Well that's all I have to say.
I hope that answers the question about why...
Wait. This is a multiple choice questionnaire?
Darn. Well, they're coming for this paper now. I've got to go.


(Stop. I have no clue. That's all I  have to say at this point. Bye.)

Reaching For The Stars

The bass drops and my fingers flit across the keyboard, typing sentences that barely make sense. Letters to words, words to sentences and here I have a jumble of thoughts that ended up making it onto the screen of your computer. It's a sad little evening in December. My toes curl up against the heater, my legs sprawled across the leather couch. A thousand things to do, ten reasons not to. It's far too easy to give up but all I can do is think about reaching for the stars in the middle of the day. There isn't a single perfect moment to leap into the sky. The stars always there, you just can't see them. So jump, leap, fly. You can't stop right when you want to.  This life is more than just a read-through.
It takes a long, long time to find what we want and I feel crippled by the thought, to get up and run. Looking for a miracle with my eyes closed. Holding onto things that have slipped away far too long ago. I'm done saying I'm done but not doing anything about. Enough.
I'm reaching for the stars in the daylight. Sometimes we forget that the Sun is in fact a star.