Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Types of People on Facebook

What is this you say?! Am I really posting two days consecutively?! YES! YES I AM! Okay, enough fake enthusiasm.


Types of People on Facebook

1. Narcissists- Profile picture has to change at a minimum of 3 times per week. Most people are narcissistic but there is a limit to everything. They'll spam your feed 24/7.


2. Know-it-alls: Will post useless information that will not benefit you in any way. 
'Cats are actually felines. :D'. NO SHIT?!

3. Hopelessly 'in love' - That friend who shares lovey dovey pictures and statuses. If you know who the posts are for, it gets funnier. But pretty soon it's just 'I wish you get hit by a truck, go into a coma, come out of the coma, understand the true meaning of your life and/or gather up enough courage to ask her/him out!!!!' 

4. Farmville 'Gamers'- 'I am a total gamer, I play farmville all day man'. Like no! 

5. Transformers/WWE/Supaahstars!- If you send me a friend request and the only pictures that you have up are of cars, wrestlers, actors, etc.; I will delete your request immediately. I have enough dipshits in my friend's list as it is. T_T

6. The Stalker- You know what I'm talking about. That one person who starts liking your old posts out of the blue. 'Oh, it just popped up on my feed'. I CALL BULLSHIT. 

7. Hopelessly Drunk- That one friend who's everything but sober after a night of partying hard and decides to take to the social networks. The random comments, verbal abuses and starting pointless arguments. By the next morning, they won't even remember the chaos they created the previous day. 

8. Buttinskis- No matter what's happening, they want to take part in it. They butt into every single thing you do. Their characteristics resemble the obsessive girlfriend.

9. Sorrowful Idiots- They have no idea what's going on but feel a need to say something.
'Oh your grandma died? I'm going to miss her, she was a good person'
'Dude, she died 5 years ago... And how the hell did you know my grandma?!'

10. Annoying Biffles- It's a necessity for them to share how frequently they meet their friends. Mostly all they do is see each other from across the street and wave. But still we'll see:
'Ohmigawd. Today was like the best day evaah. Gurl, you soo awesome. Your my best sister. Bob, you're like the best brother (not really her brother) I could ever ask for. Lol, Sue, you're like so retarded. But like I love you and all. Hahaha *bunch of smileys* I thank god that you're like my bestest friends ever. *more smileys* We're gonna stick together like forever Guys. Like guys seriously. FOREVAHH! hahahaha.
The worst part is when guys do this. 

11. The Befriender- They have no idea who that person is. They don't even know if they're real. They will add every single request they get just for the kick of it. This works both ways. Some people just add every single person they see. 'Oh you liked my uncle's sister's nephew's picture. I'm adding you. Now love me.'

12.The Traveler- That one friend that you get so jealous of after seeing all of the amazing pictures from their travels. All you can do is claw at the screen yelling 'TAAKE ME WITH YOU'.  

13. Drama Queen- It's a little harder to classify people under this category because there are so many types. Basically making a big issue of a small thing, 'indirectly' criticizing people (mostly exes or people that rejected them), fussing about with things that don't affect them, etc. 

14. Cray-cray for photoshop:
Okay, everyone touches up their picture a teensy bit. But there's something seriously wrong with the picture if I can't tell where the person is in it. Mostly guys enhancing their muscles, girls/guys editing famous people into the picture, quote pictures with the person's face in the background; the quotes are usually nonsense with pathetic grammatical errors.


15. Victims of auto-correct- I feel bad for these people. They post some status without checking if anything got auto-corrected. 

16. The person who TyPeS LiKe ThIs- It's takes everything I've got to refrain from smashing a keyboard against your head.

17. The Promoter- Always sends event invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore. 
No, I don't think I want to be a part of 'Rocking peeplez'.

18. The Rooster- Thinks it's their obligation to tell facebook "Good Morning" every day. 

19.The tagger- This type really annoys me. They'll tag you in random quote pictures. Even worse, they'll tag you in their profile picture- when you're not even in the picture or in any way related to it!

20. Forever Invisible- This person is never online on the chat. But you can see their activity nearly every five seconds. You know they've read your message but they still don't reply.

21.The average user- The person that logs in once or twice a day, updates a status about twice a week, maybe more if something really interesting happens. They look over everyone's posts, leave comments occasionally and click the 'Like' button if they actually like the post. They have about 100 friends which consist of one or two childhood friends, some high school and college friends, relatives, etc.
(This type is very rare to come by)



Fin.
That was all I could think of. There are obviously more types. Let me know any more. :)

-V

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